Overdue

I can't believe it's been over a year since I last wrote on this blog. Well, after some encouragement from a friend, I knew it was time to sit down and write again.

I'm halfway through with my 2nd year of BSSM and I can't fathom the thought of finishing... how does the end of something always creep up so quickly?
As I was talking with my friend today, I realized that I'm in a place where I don't really know or have words for what's taking place inside of me. It's definitely process, but it's not the heart-wrenching, sob-fest of a process... it's more of a stillness/quietness inside of me where I'm having to trust Holy Spirit that SOMETHING is happening. If there's anything that is dangerous to me it's complacency, apathy and mediocre living. I don't want to find myself just getting by in life or in my relationship with Holy Spirit, I want everything I do to be excellent. The fact that I draw a blank when someone asks me what God's doing in my life, scares me. Even if I can't articulate what it is, He in fact, NEVER stops his work in me. So that causes me to ask "What do I do?". If I don't know what He's doing and if I'm not familiar with this state of silence in my heart, how do I discover what's happening? And how do I keep moving forward and prevent complacency with life to settle in? How do I discover what it is that the Lord is trying to teach me or say to me when all I hear when I ask, is the ringing of my own ears?
I share this not only to update the many that have invested in and supported me, but to invite those people to help give meaning to this odd process. I greatly value the wisdom of my supporters and even have peace knowing that soon, many will know this is the place I'm in.
I'm so sorry for taking so long to write...
Better late than never